and now....

i was talking to my friend yesterday about some things..... and well, i have a problem. haha. i mean it's not a really big deal, but i saw her today... and she looked beautiful as always.... she's really not like other girls, in the sense that she doesn't need to try so hard to be beautiful, she just.... naturally is. there were so many things i wanted to tell her, but i knew that i couldn't. no matter how many times i wish i could let her know that every moment i saw her was something special, i knew i couldn't. i couldn't risk friendship over feelings that could ruin everything... so i kept quiet. i wanted to tell her how much i really cared about her. i wanted to tell her how she's affected me in ways that i've never dreamed.... but i couldn't. and for the past couple days, all i could think about was whether i should talk to her or not. i didn't want to make her feel weird or uncomfortable. and i didn't want her to think i was a loser of something, though i know she's incapable of doing that. she's just too nice. =]

so i guess that's it. i'm reduced to writing a blog about feelings i can't tell.... feelings that i want her to know..... but i can't tell her..... i care about her too much to risk losing her as a friend..... and i can't stand those awkward conversations anymore... haha

so if she's reading this, i just want her to know that, no matter how she feels towards me, that i'm really thankful to have met her and for her being in my life. yeah, it might sound corny and stupid, but that's how i feel. and i can't ignore it. so no more dashboard confessional. haha. i'm just happy knowing that i have another friend that makes me feel like everything's ok with the world.