man......

right now, life's.... unexplainable. too much going on right now. senior year's coming up, and looking forward to it... looking for optimism in a world with negativity... hope in a world with temptation and sin.....love in a world with scorn and malcontent..... peace in a world with hurt.... these couple years are gonna be tough, with countless obstacles in our way. but those are the times where a decision must be made: to overcome adversity, or hide in its wake. God, please grant me the strength to persevere, the knowledge to guide my conscience, the courage to fight on when all may seem bleak, the fortitude to remain strong in my faith, the hope to heal the pains my heart must endure, and the patience to follow the right path, no matter how arduous and painful it can be.

"today's the day.... the worst day of my life..."

"he doesn't catch you like i do...
and you don't know why...."

to say it straightforward, this day was one of the worst i've had. problems all around... with family, people, a whole bunch of stuff. and now i needa get it out of my system.... because of my philosophy: never go to sleep with animosity. or your problems continue to the next day.... so i'll say what i need to... before i go to sleep. adrian, patrick, augustine... thanks for staying with me when i needed people to help me get through what i had to... you guys are like brothers to me... and anne. thanks to you too. for keeping me laughing and all that when i got the news... so now, nothing to do but keep going.

damnn. i'm trippin'.

so it's my birthday in officially 1 day.... but it doesn't really feel like it. people have been asking for what i want for my birthday, but there's only two things i want.. the most important one: my family. our family's kinda split. by family, i also include my cousins, aunts, uncles, and lolo and lola. it's hard to deal with sometimes, but i just wanna see them all.... together.

but on a lighter note, mariel, i heard you'll be coming home soon! sorry i won't be around to welcome you and your family back.... i had the perfect plan.... show up at the airport, holding a sign with your name on it, with some "welcome back" flowers in my other hand... haha. =] sadly, i can't really drive... legally. haha. i'm guessing you'll be home by the time you read this, if you read it at all.... so welcome back. =]

my sleeping hours have been pretty erratic lately... so many things on my mind... i was up all night last night...

and thursday's manang suping's viewing... sadly, i did not get to know you very well, but from the amount of time i've been in IE, you always had a smile on your face, no matter what struggles went down, i always saw a smile. she always complimented my singing.... even when i'd mess up. haha. so anyways, you meant a LOT to many different people... you'll be missed. so take care....